It's a heartache
by soccerputte
Summary: The thoughts and progress from their break up, can be either point of view. Not the best summary, i know that but please read and let me know what you think. based on the bonnie taylor song with the same title.


First of I hope that you all will like this story, and if you do please let me know, and even if you don't like it please let me know, and if you don't like it please be construtive and tell me what I can improve.

Disclaimer: I don't own the charcters that I have used in this, they belong to their rightful owners. I also don't own the song that I have based this on, which is It's a heartache by Bonnie Taylor, if anyone would like to check it out.

That was all from me so please continue on with the reading.

**It's a heartache**

_It's a heartache  
Nothing but a heartache_

There is nothing in this world that can describe what you're feeling at the moment. As you walked away from her, down at the beach not that far away from where, your life could have changed forever if she just would have been brave enough or if you would have had the courage that you needed to say to her how I really felt.

There are just so much that was working against the two of you but still in this moment you know that you did the right thing. She wasn't ready for all of the things that this meant for her and even for you. But you're not giving up.

All you know is that you now know what it feel to have your heart broken and how much a broken heart can ache, all of this is nothing more and nothing less than heartache and with time the heart will heal.

_Hits you when it's too late  
Hits you when you're down  
It's a fool's game_

To be honest with myself, I knew that this day was going to come but I just wished that I would have been prepared for it.

It hits you in the heart when it's too late. It hits you straight in the heart when you no longer have any kind of walls that will defend you from ending up with a broken heart. And it always comes and hits you when you already is feeling down and don't know how to deal with everything around you and there is no one there for you. So that you will have to deal with your broken heart and your heartache all by yourself, you will pity yourself until you will find someone else around in your life.

Love is and always will be a fool's game and that is something that you will never get away from and somehow you know that you will play this fool's game again and the next time you might not be the fool.

But to be sure that you won't be the fool you need to save your heart and protect it from what just have happened and if you do just that you will never fall in love again. Because after all love is a fool's game and everyone wants to play that game at least one more time after you have had your heart broken.

_Nothing but a fool's game  
Standing in the cold rain_

As your slowly walked even further away from her and her friend and your "friends" have left you can feel a simple drop hit you on the head and then there is another one that hits you on the shoulder. At that moment you decided to hold out your hand to feel what was that was coming down and as you did that, they sky opened up, and it started to rain.

It poured down from the sky; it was like the angels were crying for you and for her.

And now you were outside standing there in the rain, more like the cold rain and you didn't want to move. This was the weather it had been outside when she told you that she had told her mother about the two of you.

The reason for her to tell her mother, it was a good one but you now knew that maybe she should have told her mother, you knew it would have been real between her and you even if she hadn't told her mother that morning.

Love was and will always be a fool's game and you hope that will never change because you know you want to be that fool again.

_Feeling like a clown_

The water from the rain is messing up your make up, tears are still waiting to fall but that is not what you think about. You know that you might be looking like a clown but not one of the happy ones, just a sad one.

But you have yet to decide if you feel like that clown, that you know that you might be and you don't want to make that decision but you know that you can't get away from it and you hate that..

_It's a heartache_

Everything that have happened to you is what can be describe in one word from now on and that is heartache, maybe you could use the word heartbreak too. This is all something that you now need to learn how to cope with but that is something that you don't know if you ever will be able to do but this will always be a start for you.

It is after all a heartache and that is all that you need to now.

_Nothing but a heartache.  
Love him till your arms break_

As you have walked away from her there is this one conversation that you wished that you would have had with her.

You wish that you would have told her that you loved her and that you still do and that you always will in some way love her all that you now wish is that she would have known or that she somehow will know.

But walking away from this is nothing more than a heartache and you don't know if you ever can be okay after this, all you can feel is alone and that there is no one there for you, you know that you are going to have go through this all alone. You don't really have any friends here that can help you with this.

You will love her until the day that your arms will break from the weight that you have been carrying around, not only in your arms, it has mostly been in your heart. That is something that you don't know how you will lose and you are not even sure that you want to lose it. That would might mean that you will lose her, everything of her and not remember a single thing of her and that is nothing that you want to do.

And in this moment you know what heartache feels like and you also know that is something that you never want to feel or deal with ever again.

_Then he lets you down.  
It ain't right with love to share  
When you find he doesn't care for you.  
It ain't wise to need someone  
As much as I depended on you._

It is now that some time has passed that you understand and realize that she has let you down in more ways then you first had thought but you don't want to think about that now. You just want to move on with your life and just forget about this but you are not sure on what it is that you need to do for this to be over and done with.

There is nothing that you can share with anyone, you can't share the hurt of this break up and you do know that you can't share the love that you still have for her with anyone in the world. Especially her even if she is the one person that you want to share that with.

"I can't share this pain and love with you." You say to a photo that you have on your desk, and you are not sure why you said that. Maybe you had to say that to truly understand and let go of her, to let it sink in that she never cared for you in the same way that you cared for her.

"I don't need you!"

It was something that you yelled out one night when you were drunk and out of your mind with hurt and longing and all crazy feelings that now was pouring out from you. This might have been just what you needed so that you could move on with your life.

But the morning after all of that had happened you don't remember what had happened and you were back at square one after all the progress that you had made. And you once again have to decide to move away from this place, you had stayed back in Newport even if you didn't have too and now you might have an idea on why you had stayed.

And that meant that you finally realized that you had deepened on her in some ways that you never had known that you had and you hated her for that.

She wasn't allowed to be such big part of your life and now you were going to make the best of this situation but you didn't know where to start.

You have decided that you would start over and never again depend on someone the way you had depended on her.

_It's a heartache  
Nothing but a heartache_

This was one simple thing that you were going through and you didn't know how to deal with and you have never thought that you would have to deal with having your heart broken. You had always thought that you would be the heartbreaker.

There was one simple word that you could use and that was heartache and that was a word that you were tired of hearing and saying to yourself.

You are stronger than that and you are going to show the world that.

_Hits you when it's too late. . ._

Love isn't like a box of chocolate, it's more like a force that hits you when you never thought that it would and the time for it is always wrong and you can never do one thing about it.

But in the end love might be the one thing that you can't live without but that is something that you still are waiting for to decide.

_It ain't right with love to share. . ._

Love can't be shared with just anyone, there is more than a one way street that you have realized that it was between you and her.

Finally you might have the chance to move on and you are going to take it and grow up so that you in the future can share love with someone that also will share their love with you.

Someone who will know that love is a two way street and that you have to travel together and help each other in more ways than one.

_Oh it's a heartache_

Everything good in life have almost always ended with a heartache or started with one. It's a simple as that and you hope that there will be always for you.

_Nothing but a heartache.  
Love him till your arms break_

This was nothing more than a heartache and you would get over it in time that was something that you had learned and there was days that was worse than others but most of the time it was some good ones and you were getting stronger and stronger.

And you knew that the love that you felt for her was always going to be there but not as strong as it once had been. Your arms were never going to break again from the weight from her and the same thing was for your heart.

You were finally starting to feel somewhat freer and you loved it.

_Then he lets you down  
It's a fool's game_

She had always let you down and now you had moved passed that and moved on with your life and you knew that you one day soon would go back to the place that had shaped you into the person that you now were.

Love has been a fool's game for you, and you were the fool most of the time but that had changed over the year that had passed and she couldn't let you down anymore, not even in your mind. And you couldn't be happier that you had managed to get away from that and that you now slowly were building the life that you always had wanted but at the same time it was without her.

It still felt empty some days but they were fewer and fewer and were farther and farther apart and that was a good sign.

_Standing in the cold rain_

The rain was pouring down and you were just standing there in the same spot as you had done a year before when all of this had started and now you were here so that you would have an end to this. You were so much stronger now and you knew that you had done the right thing the last time bit you couldn't help but to smile when you thought back to all of the happy times that you had shared with her.

But in the end this love was never meant to be shared with anyone.

_Feeling like a clown._

You know knew that you might be the clown that was always sad but you were going to be the strong one and never let anyone see this side of you.

_It's a heartache  
Love him till your arms break  
Then he lets you down  
It's a heartache_


End file.
